An Open Heart

But she said, "Don't call me Naomi; call me Bitter. The Strong One has dealt me a bitter blow (Ruth 1:20)

I heard Keith Urban say he asked his wife (Nicole Kidman) “how is your heart?" and her reply was “open”. And I wondered – an open heart - is that the key to leading an engaging, exceptional and enchanting life?

An open heart is sacred. The resiliency of the human spirit is reflected in the open heart. It shows a willingness to receive and become.... It is the open heart that finds its way through episodes of darkness and grief. An open heart embraces the moment and operates in the spirit of invitation: the invitation to live without suspicion, long for without fear of disappointment, laugh without the paranoia of being watched, love without judgment, and accept grief as a necessary but temporary life experience. Open hearted people learn from isolated hurts without making them universal: i.e. “men are dogs”; “women are gold-diggers”; “preachers want my money”; “church folk are nasty” or “I’ll never love again”.

Closed-hearted people, on the other hand, tend to be cynical, cold and callous, and according to leadership expert, Marty Linsky they redefine these terms so that their closed-heartedness will not sound so bad. They call cynicism “realism” and their callousness they refer to as being “thick skinned”. Unfortunately, they miss out on innocence, curiosity, change and compassion. They fail to realize that open-heartedness is an important factor in the development of one’s own spirit and personal identity. Of course, as Linsky asserts, “it takes courage to keep an open heart”! And with that thought (the courageousness of the open heart) in mind let’s consider this passage from Ruth.

Understandably, Naomi’s heart closed after the death of her husband and sons. Her disposition, reflected in Ruth chapter 1, was dismal and bleak. She had no expectation, she was not embraceable, she was not engaging and she was no longer the example of godliness she once was, and neither did she want to be.

*un-Expecting – Naomi had no hope. She had concluded that because she had no family she had no future. She would never have another husband nor any more children, and even if she had the hope of remarrying and bearing more sons – could she realistically expect her daughters in law to wait for these new sons to grow up? “... If I should have an husband also tonight, and should also bear sons; would ye tarry for them till they were grown?” (Ruth 1: 12b – 13a).

*un-Embraceable – Like many of us, Naomi wanted to be alone in her sorrow. She could not have the relationships she once enjoyed with her husband and sons, so she wanted no relationship at all. She admonished Ruth to leave her just as her other daughter in law had done: "Behold, your sister in law has gone back to her people and her gods; return after your sister in law". (vs.15)

*dis-Engaging – Naomi really wanted Ruth to leave, but Ruth insisted upon staying. So Naomi finally gave up and just stopped talking to her. She altogether withdrew as they made their way home: “when she saw that she was stedfastly minded to go with her, then she left speaking unto her.” (vs. 18)

*non-Exemplifying – Naomi’s pain was so great that she hardly even recognized herself. She no longer saw herself as an example of God’s sufficiency. Rather, she saw herself as lacking. She even assigned to herself a new name which she thought to be better suited to her circumstance: And when they had come to Bethlehem, all the city was stirred because of them, and the women said, "Is this Naomi? She said to them, "Do not call me Naomi call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me.  I went out full and the Lord hath brought me home again empty” (vss. 1:19-21a).

What, you may ask, is the cure for a closed heart? Well, the answer is friendship – true friendship. A friend is a second self (Cicero) and as theologian, Leonard Sweet points out a true friend “won't let you surrender to your dark side. She holds on to you for dear life when you are about to fall into the grave of the bottomless pit, where death lies".

Of course a true friend is not necessarily a best friend. Depending on where you are in your journey any friend could conceivably be your best friend, but a true friend is she who helps you to face the truth of where you are so that you can get to where you need to be. According to Antisthenes (ancient philosopher and cynic) there are two people on whom you can count to tell you the truth about yourself – an enemy who has lost her temper or a friend who loves you dearly. Whereas a best friend may not tell you the truth, a true friend will always do what is best for you. Ruth was a true friend to Naomi. She clung to her during her most difficult time in life: "And they lifted up their voices and wept again; and Orpah kissed her mother-in-law, but Ruth clung"(Ruth 1:14). Although Naomi wanted to be forsaken Ruth’s decision to cling was best for her. It’s not that Ruth didn’t understand Naomi’s sorrow. She understood it, and she shared in it for she too had suffered loss. It’s just that Ruth was determined that this time of sorrow would not be the defining factor in their lives. Ruth did not argue or fight with Naomi. She simply held her ground until the hardship passed. True friends see you as indispensable, and they will stick with you through the most difficult circumstance.

Ruth saw Naomi as indispensable and she would not allow her heart to remain closed.

Prayer: Thank you God for open hearted friends who keep our hearts from closing and rescue us from sorrow, in Jesus’ name.  Amen.

God's Peace And Good Journey!
+t. anthony bronner